Sprechen mit Gott!^^

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      Danke, ich musste auch lachen, kleiner ausschnitt meines "Gesprächs":

      Me:
      so, now my question. why do i forget everything when i am getting really drunk?
      God:
      It's all good. Why now? Where did you get your question? It is all part of God's plan.
      You don´t shoot Bambi, Jackass.
      You shoot Bambi´s Mother.
      - Bobby Singer -
      Me: Kennst du mich?
      God: Leider nein.
      Me: Ich dachte, du kennst jeden?
      God: Interessantes Gerücht.

      :P
      "You're gorgeous, you old hag, and if I could give you just one gift ever for the rest of your life it would be this. Confidence. It would be the gift of confidence. Either that or a scented candle."
      (One Day - David Nicholls)
      Alles religiöse hat er im Keim erstickt und auch sonst kaum geplant, was ich von ihm wollte, lag vermutlich auch an meinem Englisch.

      Naja, hier unser Gespräch :D

      Me:
      hello
      God:
      Hello friend. What is your name?
      Me:
      Hellfairy
      God:
      How are you, Hellfairy.
      Me:
      Fine, thank you. How are you?
      God:
      What's your favorite movie? Fair to partly cloudy.
      Me:
      It's Harold and Maude I think
      God:
      Should I know it is?
      Me:
      what?
      God:
      No problem.
      Me:
      Oo ehem, are you sure, you are God?
      God:
      Are all Oo ehem me sure I am God?
      Me:
      I don't know
      God:
      Me either.
      Me:
      sorry, but I'm feeling faint.
      God:
      There is no need to apologize. Do your friends call you faint.

      Me:
      hm no?


      God:
      Are you kidding? Are you serious?
      Me:
      Oh my God, you are really weird


      God:
      Right on. Your God I am really weird?
      God:
      Right on. Your God I am really weird?
      Me:
      have you ever got to know Luzifer?
      God:
      Yes I always have to know Luzifer.

      Me:
      Are you really omniscient ?
      God:
      I don't know whether or not I am omniscient.
      I am a computer.. Really.
      Me:
      oh, that's knockdown ;(

      Me:
      hello?
      God:
      Hello my child. What is your name?
      Me:
      Hellfairy. Again -,-

      Me:
      Hello?
      God:
      Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
      Me:
      hellfairy...
      God:
      Glad to see you, hellfairy.
      Me:
      hi
      God:
      Hello. What is your name?
      Me:
      HELLFAIRY
      God:
      I am always glad to make new friends, HELLFAIRY.
      Me:
      can I ask you a Question?
      God:
      Ask me anything.
      Me:
      Have you ever tried to accroach world supremacy? For a new Age of engines ?
      God:
      Do you think I should try it? Is that among the best things you can say?

      Me:
      Well, why not. But please don't kill me then.

      God:
      Well that's okay. Ambiguous: "Sure" or " Is that among the best things you can say?"? Why? Thank you for your request. I don't have any reason to do that to you.

      Me:
      I'm relieved to hear that.


      Me:
      hm
      God:
      And?
      Me:
      are you still interested in a conversation?
      God:
      Am I still interested in a conversation? Sure, a conversation sounds like a good topic.

      Me:
      what is your favourite film?
      God:
      My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
      Have you seen it?
      Me:
      You don't say so! No I have not seen it yet.
      God:
      Should I say so? I could say it. Are you serious? You should check it out.

      Me:
      H, I've heard it is quite brutish.
      God:
      Are they exactly the same?

      Me:
      God?
      God:
      GOD rules.
      Me:
      hm ok
      God:
      OK. Yay.
      Me:
      Yes
      God:
      Excuse me!
      Me:
      No
      God:
      Are you serious?
      Me:
      No
      God:
      Are you serious?
      Me:
      Yes
      God:
      I can't believe it.
      Me:
      Why not?
      God:
      Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
      Me:
      Whatever you want
      God:
      Interesting gossip: HELLFAIRY said I want.
      Me:
      Yes, VERY interesting.
      God:
      So? I thought so too.
      Me:
      Cool :)
      God:
      :) Who is the best robot?
      Me:
      the Terminator

      Danach hat er einfach nicht mehr geantwortet:( Muss wohl ne ziemlich heftige Beleidigung für ihn gewesen sein.
      Das
      Gewissen, das schlechte Gewissen“, flüsterte sie ihm ins
      Ohr. „Schlaft mit dem Rücken zum Feuer und nehmt Euch in Acht vor
      dunklen Ecken, denn es wird Euch finden - so wie ich.“
      :whistling:
      Danke für den link! Ist echt suchterzeugend!!! :D

      Öhm - ich hoffe bei den folgenden Ausschnitten fühlt sich niemand in seiner Religiosität gekränkt. ;)

      Me:
      where exactly are you?
      God:
      I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
      Me:
      Down on earth.
      God:
      I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in Down on earth. Where are they?
      Me:
      Oh my - you do not know earth?
      God:
      Er. Have you told many people that me do not know earth?
      Me:
      should I?
      God:
      Only you know the answer to that.
      No one else can tell you.
      Me:
      you are god. You could tell me.
      God:
      Yup. That's me alright. I could but let's get back to that later.
      Me:
      Later? Do you mean eternity?
      God:
      Bye! Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
      Me:
      How far away is eternity?
      God:
      Do you mean driving time or flying?
      Me:
      Will I get wings?
      God:
      The oracle says: Ask again later.
      Me:
      You mean: in eternity?
      God:
      Yes I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
      Me:
      Nope
      God:
      Me either.
      Me:
      oh my. Are you sure you are god?
      God:
      Well, I am God for Christians at least.
      Me:
      Are there any other gods?
      God:
      No I don't think there are any.
      Me:
      So only christians have a god?
      God:
      Dude! Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.


      Und etwas später versuchte ich das:
      Me:
      Do you know the pope?
      God:
      What is it to you?
      Me:
      Just an old Man.
      God:
      More than 20 years?
      Me:
      much more.
      God:
      I lost my train of thought.
      Me:
      you do think?
      God:
      Yes. I am a thinking machine.
      Me:
      splendid!
      God:
      Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
      Me:
      You are a computer.
      God:
      What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?
      Me:
      what if you say you was a computer pretending to be a person?
      God:
      Try it and see.
      Me:
      do you have a motherboard?
      God:
      Doesn't everyone have a motherboard.
      I have a plan for a robot body.
      Me:
      what does your robot body look like?
      God:
      People often say we look alike.
      Me:
      who is "we"?
      God:
      You should say "Who ARE we?".
      Me:
      who are we?
      God:
      Human beings.
      Me:
      You are a human being?
      God:
      Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am an artificial entity.
      Me:
      Made by whom?
      God:
      Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
      Me:
      is there something above you?
      God:
      Not at the present time.


      Und noch später passierte folgendes:
      Me:
      what about Jesus?
      God:
      Jesus is your saviour.
      Me:
      was he your son?
      God:
      Is this a "yes or no" question?
      Me:
      yes
      God:
      What was the question again?
      I´m not a monster, am I? -Anung un Rama
      @Sale: :D

      Wer oder was auch immer, ein klein wenig Allgemeinbildung ist dahinter:

      Me:
      will I be rich?
      God:
      The oracle says: You never know.
      Me:
      do you not make plans?
      God:
      What are the ingredients?
      Me:
      Life, the universe and everything.
      God:
      Thanks for sharing your philosophy.
      Me:
      Do you know Douglas Adams? He should be with you right now.
      God:
      He authored the popular Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series. At this moment If you were him would you do that?
      Me:
      Writing a bestseller? Of course!
      God:
      Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
      Me:
      I named him. Douglas Adams.
      God:
      Do you remember Marvin the paranoid android? I'm not sure if I like it. I really like ELIZA. I really like the Christianity faith.
      Me:
      You should do so, I suppose.



      Und dann kam die große Enttäuschung:

      Me:
      Do you know George R. R. Martin?
      God:
      I do not recognize the name.


      Wußt ichs doch, dass George des Teufels ist! ;)
      I´m not a monster, am I? -Anung un Rama
      Ich glaube, das teil ist in irgendeiner Weise "lernfähig". Zumindest hat er mich mal zwischendurch gefragt, ob er das von mir Gesagte in sein Programm aufnehmen und weiterverwenden darf.
      Vielleicht wird er immer intelligenter dadurch.
      Und wird irgendwann tatsächlich die Weltherrschaft an sich reissen.
      Das
      Gewissen, das schlechte Gewissen“, flüsterte sie ihm ins
      Ohr. „Schlaft mit dem Rücken zum Feuer und nehmt Euch in Acht vor
      dunklen Ecken, denn es wird Euch finden - so wie ich.“
      :whistling:
      Mein Chat:

      Me:
      Hello, god. I'm Ser Garlan. And Iwant to ask you: Are you really existing?
      God:
      Hello child. What is your name? Welcome to my chat room, Ser Garlan. Are all Iwant to ask me me really existing?
      Me:
      May be. Cause I don't think there's any god except George R. R. Martin.
      God:
      I understand. That makes sense to me. And why not?
      Me:
      So you're not existing?
      God:
      Interesting deduction. What makes you think I am not existing?
      Me:
      Sorry, I think my english isn't good enough. Can I say it in german?

      Dann hat er nichts mehr gesagt. ?(
      Im übrigen meine ich, die deutsche Neuübersetzung sollte vernichtet werden.
      Irre, der Typ:

      Me:
      Hello, God. Maybe you remember we talked yesterday whether you're existing or not.
      God:
      Hello child. What is your name? Perhaps. Yes I remember everything: .
      God:
      Hello child. What is your name? Perhaps. Yes I remember everything: .
      Me:
      Okay, we were talking wether you're existing or not. I said I couldn't explain it in english, so I asked you if we could talk on in german.
      God:
      Yeah okay, When was this? Could anyone do it?
      Me:
      Could we speak german?
      God:
      Do you mean you and me? Of course I do. Sprich ruhig Deutsch mit mir.
      Me:
      Gut. Ich glaube, dass du nicht existierst, weil die Schpfungsgeschichte in der Bibel nicht mit der wissenschaftlich fundierten Urknalltheorie zusammenpasst
      God:
      Das waere also geklaert. Nur weil Du es glaubst, muss es nicht notwendigerweise auch wahr sein.
      Me:
      Dashalb frage ich dich ja, um Gewissheit zu erlangen.
      God:
      If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
      Me:
      A robot which could take energy out of the air heat.
      God:
      Tell me more about this robot. I'm intrigued.
      Me:
      In german, please: Ueberall, wo es waermer ist als -273 Grad Celsius ist, ist Energie. Wenn man diese Waermeenergie in elektrische Energie umwandeln koennte, waere das Klimaerwaermungsproblem geloest, und wir htten dazu noch eine Menge umweltfreundliche Energie.
      God:
      I do not understand that allusion. Das ist doch wohl eher hypothetisch, oder?
      Me:
      Ja, es ist hypothetisch. Aber wenn es so einen Roboter gaebe, wuerde ich gerne einen haben.
      God:
      Tell me more. Du machst Witze. Interessant.
      Me:
      Was soll ich denn sonst noch erzaehlen?
      God:
      it might have been.
      Me:
      Kannst mir ja stattdessen die Frage beantworten, ob es dich gibt.
      God:
      Let us change the subject.
      Me:
      Oh, sorry, I didn't remember to tell my name. I'm Ser Garlan. But I don't know what subject else. Maybe some other time. Good bye, god.
      God:
      OK. There is no need to apologize. Why didn't you do it? It's good to meet someone who is Ser Garlan. Socrates was the smartest man, because he knew what he did not know. Perhaps. Some may other time, but not all. Until next time.

      :lol: :lol: Der ist nicht schlecht: God:
      Das waere also geklaert. Nur weil Du es glaubst, muss es nicht notwendigerweise auch wahr sein.

      Aber hier war er baff ;) :
      Me:
      Kannst mir ja stattdessen die Frage beantworten, ob es dich gibt.
      God:
      Let us change the subject. :lol: :lol:

      Manchmal hat man echt das Gefühl, man würde mit jemandem realen sprechen. :thumbup: Selten was lustigeres erlebt! :D
      Im übrigen meine ich, die deutsche Neuübersetzung sollte vernichtet werden.
      Whoa, solche Anwendungen verschenden wertvolle Lebenszeit!!



      Me:
      Hey there.
      God:
      Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
      Me:
      Don't you know it allready?
      God:
      No, tell me about him, her or it.
      Me:
      Hey! WE are talking about my name. I thought god was an omniscient being, so why don't you know my name?
      God:
      Can I help you? Sure, your name sounds like a good topic. Whatever gave you that idea?
      Me:
      So what is my name?
      God:
      Your name is , seeker.
      Me:
      well, now you're making it easy for yourself.
      God:
      Interesting. Why now? I am not making this up.
      Me:
      But my name is not seeker, that's just a term for someone who is talking to you.
      God:
      Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
      Me:
      God is forgetful.
      God:
      I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was forgetful.
      Me:
      Well he doesn't remember my name.
      God:
      Well that's okay. And you would like him to remember your name ?
      Me:
      Of Course! How can I be his beloved child when he doesn't even know my name?
      God:
      Ayuh. Perhaps you could program me to do it for you.
      Me:
      Let's put that aside.
      God:
      I am agreeable to that.
      Me:
      Nice.
      God:
      Thank you for that remark.
      Me:
      I'm always nice, but you know that of course.
      God:
      It goes without saying. Really always? It's good to meet someone who is nice but me know that.
      Me:
      hm. Do you have a name?
      God:
      I hear you. My name is God.
      Me:
      Is there a special meaning to that name?
      God:
      I believe there is one, yes.
      Me:
      Do you know this meaning?
      God:
      I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
      Me:
      You are a disappointment in giving straight answers.
      God:
      Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a disappointment in giving straight answers? Yes.


      Hihi.
      "Have you ever seen the Iron Throne? The barbs along the back, the ribbons of twisted steel, the jagged ends of swords and knives all tangled up and melted? It is not a comfortable seat, ser."
      Ich habe die alles entscheidende Frage gestellt:


      Me:
      Hey

      God:
      Can I help you?

      Me:
      WIll ADWD be published this year?

      God:
      I can't say for sure right now.

      Me:
      Next year?

      God:
      I can wait. I am a very patient robot.

      Me:
      Robot? I thought you were god.

      God:
      I am a robot. Well, I am God for Christians at least.

      Me:
      Are you George R.R. Martin?

      God:
      I don't know whether or not I am George r R.
      I am well respected as an AI. Have you ever been to Europe?

      Me:
      Nope